Fear Management 101

The thing about fear is that it masks itself as a circumstantial thing.

It’s not.

Fear is there all the time. It twists. It’s that little pessimistic whisper in the middle of any and every situation, which can make you afraid even when there’s no reason to be.

There’s fear when you’re in need, because you think that what you need won’t come. Your big break might be just around the corner, but fear will keep you thinking that your situation is permanent. That’s junk, ya know? You know that, right? I hope so. God will not leave you hanging, you have got to know that. His promises stand for you. If not in this life, in eternity. There’s nothing He withholds from His kiddos, if not to call them heavenward, which is infinitely better.

This fear is tied to the measure of change you’re expecting, and it’s related to how much faith you have in the likeliness of that change. It’s the waiting fear. Welcome to being human, right? This is just plain doubt. The antidote for this is faith. Faith in what is unseen, what has yet to come. Faith that He hears you when you ask Him! Faith in the faithfulness of God, because really, that’s who HE is. He is Faithful Love, Unfailing. His will is good, even when we disagree.

Then there’s an irrational fear: the fear in abundance! Because you think that what you have might go away?! What a life robber, this kind of fear. You have everything right there, but this kind of fear is the insecurity in the happiest days of your life. This is the kind of stuff that shows up when people are pregnant, or when they think they’re falling in love, or really when anything outstanding starts to unfold.

It’s the “what if this person I am getting attached to gets hurt or doesn’t really want me… what if I lose this?” and there it is. The What If scenarios take over. Again, this fear is tied to the measure of change you’re expecting, and it’s related to how much faith you have in the likeliness of that change. This time you’re not hoping for good things, but rather expecting bad things. It’s a negative change that you think is oh so likely.

Oh fearful heart, pain-filled heart, take refuge in God. It’s okay to love and to risk. If this should go away, deal with it then, but for goodness sakes, enjoy it while you have it! Who do you think you are, trying to prepare for the worst? Fear is robbing you of your moment, which just so happens to be a good moment by the way!

We want everything to be permanent, don’t we? We want permanent stability, and income, and housing, and relationships. We want our kids to stay little, but then we want them to be permanently responsible. We want our marriages to be permanently perfect, and our friends to be permanently devoted. We want our efforts to be permanently appreciated, our words to be permanently effective. We want our youth to be permanent, our health, our loved ones. Oh to have that assurance, hah! But all we’re told, really, is that our Father in heaven loves us, and that this life is a purposeful vapor, and that in this world we will have affliction, but to take heart in Christ. But how?

How do we take heart in loving all the imperfect and temporary, like we’re commanded? How do we justify spending ourselves with no guarantee, when the vapor doesn’t feel like a vapor, when hours seem like days when we’re grieving a loss or dealing with brokenness? How do we take heart when it feels like love will kill us?

Trust.

I have to trust the Lord that no loss in this world will kill me or pull from me the joy in my heart, however ludicrous that trust may seem.

Warriors of God, I want you to say this out loud if you can relate with this, if you’re fearing that a loss is going to kill you, that it’ll just rip your heart open… say this, and say it as loud as you need to::

Because Jesus is life, this loss would not kill me.
Because Jesus is my strength, He will sustain me should this loss come.
Jesus, You are Sovereign. I pray blessing over all of whom I’ve been entrusted to love.

Let me love them with all the passion You’ve given me, and let fear have no grip on me.
Let me love them while I have them, because I do not know what tomorrow holds.
I trust You that You will give and take away according to Your will, working all things together for my good, because I love You.

Take heart, saints. Goodness will come, good gifts will come. Then they also might go. In the midst of it all, God is Sovereign, and He promises to be Your strength. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. You are promised an eternity free of tears, free of pain, free of suffering of any kind. Meanwhile, we yield our daily burdens to the One who bears them all.

Have the faith to wait and ask.
When the beauty you await arrives, embrace it.
That’s really all we can do, isn’t it?

What other choice do we have?

To waste this short life with our love buried in the ground? No. Our Master has entrusted us to multiply that love, to invest it. With His blessing, we risk, all to hear “Well done, good and faithful servant.

And by God’s grace, bold lovers, and that’s exactly what we’ll hear.

Photo cred: Kenny Norris

Photo cred: Kenny Norris

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4 thoughts on “Fear Management 101

  1. You make me remember that beautiful hymn:

    “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”

    Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
    There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
    Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
    As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

    [Refrain]
    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Morning by morning new mercies I see.
    All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
    Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

    Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
    Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
    Join with all nature in manifold witness
    To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

    [Refrain]

    Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
    Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
    Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
    Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

    I love you, Helena!
    May Jesus continue to bless you…
    Mamae ❤

    • Mamae,
      What you didn’t know is that this hymn is not just special to me, it’s my favorite 🙂
      Thank you for posting it when you did. It meant a lot more to me than you think.
      I asked the Lord to bring that hymn about to assure my heart in His timing, and He did, faithfully.
      Thank you for being so thoughtful and always reading my blogs.
      I love you 🙂
      Helena

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