There’s a new song on the radio that’s been stuck in my head.
Cause all of me loves all of you
All your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me, I give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose, I’m winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
So those powerful lyrics have been circling round and round, and I keep thinking that this is how the Lord feels about me, and how I feel about Him. He is the entirety of everything. Outside of time.
Lately, God’s been giving me some insight into my heart and my expectations. He’s been opening my eyes to reality and bringing my feet back to the ground. He’s been answering my prayers, and it’s funny when you ask for something and you get just that, and you don’t even know what to do with an answered prayer. Our tendency is to up the ante, and ask for even more. We reach a new level, and we say “okay, next!” and I just gotta confess that such a pattern of thinking really sucks.
I’m learning to cherish today’s ‘perfect imperfections’ and not try to mind-teleport to a completed state of resolution. Because by now, I know better that when resolutions come, new challenges arrive. Hey!
I’ve been working on thanksgiving. Giving thanks for this day, and its blessings. Not looking forward to x, y, z, or anything else. JUST THIS. JUST NOW. I woke up today feeling sick, and it’s easier for me to think tomorrow will be better. I am taking for granted this moment’s grace for my weakness.
I’m making my today feel like a total yesterday already, and we all know that yesterdays don’t matter. Yesterdays can’t be changed or really enjoyed. How silly to trap my day into that category, a perfectly good day that can be thoroughly cherished, unless it sits in the shadow of a “better” tomorrow… that is kinda doomed before it arrives, because as soon as it does, the next tomorrow takes the cake. Today should get all the cake. Delicious tres leches cake, with caramel.
You ever hang out with a friend and all they can talk about is how much fun another friend is? Or how cool it’ll be to be hanging out with them…. meanwhile, you’re feeling like total chopped liver?
We do that to our day and our present blessings when we always compare them to what we expect will be even better in the future. I’m learning that my day today is not chopped liver compared to tomorrow, and that today is stock full of answered prayers, yes, but even more, it’s full of the One who answers them.
There’s a cheesy Plato quote that says ‘what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for…’ and it’s true. I live in my better tomorrow… it’s just called today.
Coming down from the dream cloud, feet hitting the pavement, back down to reality, with a heart tethered above, with eyes on the unseen, my calendar on this day, my worries chased out by fierce prayer, my smile genuine, my mind fully alert, fully aware of the battles around me, most of which I will simply march into, singing, knowing the war is won for me today: it is good.
Fear has no place.
Comparison has no place.
Doubt has no place.
Pride… well it definitely has no place.
What does have place is a deep trust, and a love that isn’t afraid of sacrifice or waiting. Guess when I get to enjoy that love?