On the Brink

I’m two weeks away from my life drastically changing.

I am moving to Atlanta!!! I’m stoked to say I have my housing situation figured out, and my house is ADORABLE! Classes start the week after I move… classes with Holy Spirit-filled, amazing people! Ahhh!!! I’m one of them, AHHH!!! 🙂

cdfw

Moving to a new city, starting classes at Bethel, being part of a new church, and meeting a whole new set of people… it’s so so exciting! Or should I say, sozo exciting? Ohh… that’s a Bethel pun, ladies and gents.

I’m taking as many lessons learned as possible moving forward, and I’ve been reflecting on what God’s been doing with me since coming home from the World Race and moving to Gainesville.

-Phylla House started.

-I met friends who are like family through Adventures and through the Church.

-I was mentored and encouraged by giants of the faith.

-The Lord opened up the gifts of healing and prophecy in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Now I get to walk into a new place with all these changes, and introduce myself as this new creation. Easier blogged than done, yall.

I spent the weekend reflecting on this newness. My friend Micah (a girl named Micah, how cool is that?) and I went to Jacksonville, FL, for a quick ocean get-away. I sat on the beach and felt the warmth of the sun, heard the waves breaking, and did a lot of reflecting/coffee-drinking/eating of awesome food. Had a blast with friends.

jax

Micah asked me where home was for me. I paused, thought for a while, and the reality is that I don’t exactly have one… yet. I did, but it changed. And changed. And it keeps changing, this ‘home’ thing. I answered confidently that being by the ocean makes me feel a sense of home, of belonging.

I was telling Micah about how it’s such a process to get to know someone, and how we are tempted to just ‘front with the cons’ in our community, where we go ahead and tell someone everything that’s ever been wrong with us right off the bat, maybe out of fear of rejection? And in the ‘world,’ you find the opposite, where people will tell you their highest heights first to impress you, then they slowly work up to the ‘oh yeah, by the way…’ of life.

I want to find that happy place in the middle that isn’t grounded on fear or pride. I want to meet people, look them in the eye, and mean it that I’m new. Not just refurbished, or restored, or redeemed, but new. NEW. To cut off any old thing that follows me around, to stop giving my past so much influence into my future, granted that God’s work in me gets full glory.

I’m relearning my story, because as it is, I’m no longer the same.

My story is awesome, one of victory and surprises. It’s about a girl who learned that she doesn’t have to be strong in her own strength, or wise in her own wisdom. A girl who fights for love but is also fought for. She likes to dance, sing, and laugh, and doesn’t stop choosing joy. She can go alone because she knows she isn’t alone. She is loved, and nothing can stop her, because nothing can stand against the One who is with her.

Anything that doesn’t line up with that new story is old news.

On the brink of this new season, I’m realizing who I’ve been and learning who I now am, and seeing such a stark contrast. It’s both heartbreaking and exciting. Hindsight is 20/20 and I no longer make decisions based on inner vows, fear, or confusion. WOOHOO!!!! Talk about freedom, kids. FREEDOM.

Do I still find myself over-thinking and caring more than I should? Yep. But I am submitting myself daily to the One who knows the proportionate amount of ‘holding on’ and ‘letting go’ that it’ll take to navigate through this life. He is my patient teacher, who calls me NEW. Why should I disagree? I dare not.

I’m on the brink of ‘more’ and ‘yes’ and I was made for such a time as this.

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. [Galatians 5:1, NLT]

 

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