You know when there are only so many chairs, and someone has to sit at the corner of the table, with the edge jutting out toward them? I find myself there. The edge of the table isn’t a comfortable place. I think sometimes I short myself from everything I have access to. Maybe I think that it’s too crowded, or I tell myself that I don’t mind the trouble, someone else can have a place, I’ll be fine here. Again, the Father reminds me that I have a place, with everything set in front, and there’s no need to sit at the edge. How silly is that?
I have to hold myself in higher regard. I have to accept the ways that others will lovingly serve me when they’re supposed to, and I shouldn’t fight to serve myself and I shouldn’t get up to do another task. Sometimes God’s harshest words to me are sit down and receive, woman. Just sit and receive. Let someone else take care of it for you.
Strangers are uncomfortable at the table, but when it’s your family table, there is no discomfort, right? When you’re staring at people you don’t know, and having to be close to them, it’s natural to feel a little awkward. Sometimes I feel watched, and it weirds me out. But we are watched, by heaven and by others. We are always watched, and the way we carry ourselves is reflective of who we think we are. Is the Kingdom table your family table? Does it feel comfortable? If not, why? What makes you think you don’t belong? You definitely belong.
I used to enjoy the thought of being like Cinderella, rising from the ashes to the palace. The humility of Cinderella is great, but you bet that she faced a big transition having servants at her palace. She no longer had to scrub the floors. She probably never enjoyed it, I bet it felt foreign watching someone else go through it and not help. I bet it felt selfish! How uncomfortable to allow someone else to pass through the similar struggle and not come to their rescue, and relieve them of their duty! Even in a poofy gown, it probably took everything in her to not run up and take the mop and bucket by force from the hands of another girl.
Maybe at times, we are called to step in the way, like Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Yet we also understand that Jesus is King of Kings and He no longer gets beat up. Does He no longer have a servant’s heart and the goodness and willingness to scrub dirty feet? I think it’s all still there. Same Jesus. Yet His circumstances have shifted: He is rightfully enthroned, as people sing Holy Holy Holy all the time to Him, and He doesn’t tell them to stop.
It’s okay to have times when life is hard and work is hard and everything is hard. It’s also okay to have times to sit and receive, times when we don’t have to scrub the floor, but rather are called to sit and enjoy the feast with the Father. We’re called to serve others but also called to be royalty. One call isn’t of greater honor than the other, not with Him. Funny thing is that sometimes we don’t allow ourselves the easiest one of the two: to know we are worthy of receiving.
We are to love others as we love ourselves. How are you loving yourself? Are you taking good care of yourself? Are you mistreating yourself with the guise of being selfless? Does it make you feel awkward to receive gifts, words of affirmation, or acts of service? It’s just love. Are you letting others love you? Are you letting God love you?
Don’t fight it when He calls you to sit and receive.