Back in the old days of Xanga and Myspace, we had these things called surveys.
You’d just copy and paste, then answer a bunch of questions, and people would do the same. And you’d even reply back and forth to your friends like “I agree with John, I like dogs WAY better than cats” and you could feel your fingertips typing furiously without ever having to edit or think much. And then you hit that magical ‘post’ button, and voila. This is a lot like that, except I just make a numbered list and rattle off all the random, without any need for editing. On your marks, set…
1) Yes, I went to San Francisco this weekend. Yes, it was magical! Yes, I prayer walked on the Golden Gate Bridge and felt all the feels, and I swear something shifted because I did that. I believe that was my assignment, to take my breakthrough joy to a place where over 1600 hopeless people have actually jumped to their deaths. Very few have survived. The approximate count is one jumper every 2 weeks, with many more jumps prevented when they hesitate. People literally travel to go die there. It’s the #1 suicide spot in the US, and the #2 in the world. I remember a particular pole that I felt led to go back to and pray again, #69. Later I looked it up, and sure enough, the most people have jumped from that very spot. How crazy is that?! But I prayed hard, and I laughed, and I swear something shifted. The glory of God showed up, and I felt it.
2) To piggyback off of that, I have a dream to have nonstop worship on that bridge, two people walking it the whole time it’s open to pedestrians, singing and smiling and loving and praying with/for people. I heard that people will start their walk with Jesus there, because it’s gonna be a place of LIFE not death. If you want to help me set that up, contact me. They can’t stop us.
3) No, I am not moving to San Francisco. Going there was definitely an assignment from the Lord, but I did not feel the tug to relocate. I believe that it was something I had to go there to know for sure, and now that I went, I know. It was an actual dream come true to be there and get to see it. It reminded me of Rio, in so many ways, with the mountains and the ocean and the way the architecture takes your breath away a bit. And while I do hope to someday live by the ocean again, I feel crystal clear that it’s not San Fran. K cool. Sweet. Carry on.
4) I wrote the first chapter of my book. In a journal. In pencil. I am going old school here. I want to tap into the style of the greats. I’m seriously in love with every word, and I can’t wait to see the whole thing unravel out of my heart.
5) I lost 7 pounds. By substituting a salad for a meal. And by drinking water instead of sugary drinks. And working out 3 *yes just 3* times a week, for like 30 minutes on my elliptical in my bedroom. I guess that’s the perk of not having a bed. An elliptical fits comfortably to one side, hammock to the other side. I am living the dream, and I’m back to my high school and college weight. Holla for bikini season. What substitutions will you make in life, in order to lose or gain what you desire? Soak in that question, homie.
6) Bethel Graduation was wonderful. It made me think. I invited a few people who I thought had a big hand on getting me there, who would be proud of me like parental figures. They couldn’t make it, but I had my sweet boyfriend there, making great faces at me and making me laugh, meeting my classmates and their kids, and introducing himself with alternate names, you know… the usual. He’s my person and I love him. It’s times like these that I realize how much he’s there for me, and I am so thankful for him.
7) It’s surreal that I don’t have to wake up at 4pm to go to class at Bethel and then go from Bethel to work. Having this amount of free time is almost shocking to me. I’ll be resting today.
8) I’m going to Brazil in less than 2 weeks and I cannot believe I will get to hold my family again and meet sweet baby Alice, my freshest cousin. She’s one month old and the cutest and I’m gonna take a million selfies with her, so help me God.
9) I’m learning to lead. In so many ways. My heart is expanding to lead more. I am asking the Lord to show me the standard, so I can set it. I have incorporated habits into my daily life that I believe will shape me. I pray out loud, daily, with Buddy. And I tell him out loud that I love him. When I’m home, I have a power hour. A power hour is when I set everything aside for ONE HOUR and just push through whatever I need to do that needs done. Like cleaning or cooking or looking up really boring grownup stuff. Sometimes my workouts are included in that hour. Power hour is changing my life, for real. And so is prayer. And so is love.
10) I need your prayers! I’m stepping forward to lead a ministry and Phylla House is just kinda coming along for the ride, not sure yet how PH is going to operate. PH is a dream of my heart to see women getting the discipleship and community they need during their crazy transitions due to widowhood, divorce, and single parenting. And the ministry I’m stepping into is for widows and orphans in Uganda. I would love your prayers for wisdom and direction, as we implement changes and have the courage to dream and plan.
11) The word I’m looking at is ACCESS. I feel like the Lord has been circling me around that concept. Jesus got us access to the Father. Access to righteousness. Access to freedom. Access to grace. Access. It’s like a giant key to a once-locked door. You couldn’t go in. You didn’t have permission. But now, in Christ… we have access. And it’s the most incredible, effortless benefit. And I believe that we’ve been shorting ourselves, standing outside of doors to which we have access. We don’t realize it. They’re open. Jericho-style favor. Walls coming down. Entrance granted. What are you trying to get into? What’s currently the most important thing you’d like to gain access to? KNOCK and the door will be opened. You have access in Christ. That’s what’s been going on in my brain today. Normal, right? 😉
12) My birthday was amazing and it lasted way longer than a day. I began celebrating in Alabama, during a mission trip. I met such wonderful people in Florence, AL! I came home to gifts and cookies and sweetness from Buddy. Friends took me out to eat meals and gave me funny cards and treats. My family and Buddy’s family got me *several* Starbucks gift cards, because everybody thought alike and they have such great minds haha. Coworkers bought me coffee, too. See a trend yet? I also got to have an amazing birthday dinner at The Melting Pot with Buddy’s family, and it was so fun and delicious. 28 gon’ be great. I’m already feeling way more mature and advanced haha. 28, caffeinate.
13) This blog was fun to write. It’s scattered, but I find a great level of comfort in knowing it was put together in a numbered list. So here it goes, unedited. Have a great day!