Making Big Decisions

Here are the life updates and all the big decisions in the life of Hey Hey Helena::

I just took over a ministry that is on the financial struggle bus, with less than 2 months of certain funding. But we are trusting that all the funds will come in. I am trusting that the funds will come in, including the big grant, the big donations, and the children’s school fees. Pray and agree with me. It’s been a scramble to put things in my name, open accounts at the bank, at PayPal, at Xero, new website, new email, new ministry name, new systems, new job titles, updating paperwork (ALL the paperwork)… I’m still reeling from it all. It has not been easy, but I guess not much in life worth having is easy, huh? Cue the cymbals. Soon I will announce how you can be part of this… it’ll be about 2 more weeks to get our systems organized and we’ll be ready.

I just moved to an incredible apartment and I’m so very happy with it. It was an eventful weekend, with a friend getting married in another state, and a friend staying over (I loved having her here), and all the moving and unpacking. And you know how much I loooooove to have things messy, huh? Bless. My. Heart. It’s been so good and nostalgic to unpack. I haven’t lived alone in a very, very long time, and this may well be the last time I unpack alone. There’s a whole other blog coming on about that, about cherishing that space while you have it.

compassAnd finally…

I’ve been battling between doing a specialization program for my job and doing Bethel year 2. My hospital is having some issues getting me a mentor for the program, so I may not even have the specialization option! I applied to both.

I guess the point of this blog is this: when you don’t know what to do, ask yourself which option would bring you to invest yourself MORE in the Lord. I can already tell you that my heart is so thirsty to be in my Bethel family atmosphere more often, to dance, to worship, to be on fire alongside them. I know I will be in the Word more. I know I will be encouraged. I know I will be upheld, hugged, seen. The other option is that I would have another bump to my pay grade. I would make more money at work (but not much unless I changed job titles), which I could always do later on. I have enough. I’m content. At some point in my life, I will probably be a manager. At some point I will lead in the healthcare setting, too. I will teach chemistry and blood banking.

I’m learning that it’s OKAY for me to be divergent haha. It’s okay for me to not fit the regular bill of EITHER workplace or ministry. I can do both. I do both. And I have to pick one to push into to the next level for the next year… I’ve had to do this before and I will do it again: when it comes to picking between a financial raise and Jesus, I will gain more when I pick Jesus. He will reward me with life experiences that money could never buy, and with provision that is so priceless, so hilariously supernatural.

In the end, it’ll be me and Him, and our time spent together here is an eternal carry-on. I can’t take my raise, or my resume, or my job title with me. It won’t matter in the Kingdom of Heaven. It doesn’t matter in the Kingdom of Heaven! What will matter is that I spend my life at His feet, and with His hand in mine, and dancing and singing and laughing and on fire. I will spend my life with my hands heating up to heal the sick and the hurting, to take their pain away with a prayer and a song. I will spend my life having deep conversations with people, talking about the scars of the heart and how the Father is faithful to heal them. The wiper of tears. And money? Money comes in. Money comes in through my job, and through donations. Money comes in from random refunds, and prizes, and surprises. Money comes in through the windows.

My tuition for Bethel Year 2 is $2500, and that’s gonna come in. I’m done worrying about that. Pray and agree with me that it will come in.

So that’s what I have on making big decisions. Life has been full, but wonderfully full. And I will NOT doubt the never-failing, always faithful provision of the Lord in this season, or any season.

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