Today was a stressful day. It shouldn’t have been. I like to say that when life bumps you, what’s inside spills over. Today, I got a reality check, and what spilled wasn’t pretty. It was worry, anxiety, and frustration. I was able to hand more of that over to God, and the hand-off was not super graceful, but it’s in His hands now.
My boyfriend and I have been in conversation for about 2 months about going to Brazil to visit my family. The trip was going to be in the last week of December/start of January. That was the original plan.
Then, my job declined my vacation request. We had sort of decided to go the following week, but he just started a new job and has no idea what that schedule holds.
We hit another roadblock in planning, and you know how I love those? I love those. Yeah no, this is the most frustrating thing.
The airfare prices went up while we waited to hear back, and then they went up again. The window of visiting while my brother was there is over. I can no longer afford the airfare to go visit my family as per planned. The trip is loosely postponed until our availability at work matches, and the airfare prices are reasonable. My brother will just have to visit me when he’s on spring break next year. This is what life is like living away from everybody you’re related to, and trying to bring a significant other over. It’s not easy, or glamorous. There are a lot of tears and dropped calls, and savings tapped out, and conversations about mileage. There are plans laid down, and delays that hurt, and one very chubby baby I can’t wait to hold again, and one super wonderful aunt to laugh with, and one beautifully comforting grandma, and tall cousins, and the mountains I grew up with, and pounds to gain from the best food in the world. I’ve never brought a significant other with me to Brazil, so you could say I look forward to giving him that honor someday. Just a little bit. Okay, it means SO much.
Today was the day I accepted that this trip wasn’t going to be when I wanted it to be. It may not even be in January at all, God only knows. I’m one tired girl with a heavy heart, but I know that God’s timing is perfect. What’s a few more weeks or months, right?
I thank God that everyone is healthy and that there’s no rush, but I also plead with God to not delay this too much. He sees my heart and He loves them infinitely more than I ever could. He’s the One who chose them to be my family, and who led me all the way to another continent at such an early age. He had a grand purpose for all of this, and He will continue to redeem every difficulty.
I lay my plans down, along with my hopes, heart desires, and expectations. God’s will is better. I will wait for that. Please be in prayer for peace, clarity, and rest. Grace for changes. And then more grace for changes.