My Birth Story, Part I: Pregnancy and War

You wouldn’t think the two would go together, pregnancy and war, but oh, they do. From the minute I started even thinking my body might be hosting a new life in the near future, I started preparing. I started taking prenatal vitamins 4 months (yes, pretty much right when we got engaged) before the wedding, because I knew we’d talked about babies and I wanted all that folic acid and all the iron and all the goodies because I’m a scientist and a planner.

Each day a tiny reminder that I hoped it would happen, months before trying.

Then the wedding came and those long conversations took place that were so exciting: we were on board for a baby, so help us God.

Even though I’d never tried for a baby before, and never had the experience of something going wrong, a part of me was still afraid. Maybe because so many close to me had struggled with their fertility, waited months or years, I was trying to be logical and excuse any possible delays. But God answered on our first plea with the faintest pink line. I was pregnant!

And then immediately, I was a secret-keeper! Boo!

They forget to tell you this part, it’s the unwritten instruction after “two lines means positive” on the pregnancy test, it goes “tell only the people who will be your support system in case of the M word.”

The M word. Literally the first grenade chunked at a mama who just learned there’s a tiny, tiny human in her womb.

Everything can just end, Helena. Those first weeks. We don’t schedule appointments til you’re 8 to 10 weeks. Oh okay.

Let’s do math: baby count starts at first day of last period aka 2 weeks before conception ish, then you have to wait till about 4 days before the next period is due to get a positive with those overpromising fancy sticks, so that’s “3.5 weeks” when I knew I was pregnant.

You mean to tell me that the next 4.5 to 6.5 weeks are just a blind waiting game? Bring in Google, what can I eat? What shouldn’t I eat? Is it okay to exercise? No rollercoasters. No hot tubs. Just be very careful in general, there’s no recipe for how to keep a baby in there, just know all their organs are forming so be the healthiest you can be, ever. Good God, okay. God help me.

Meanwhile, there are negative symptoms everyone says will happen, like a one-size-fits-all misery poncho I was supposed to wear. But I felt okay. I was extra sleepy but not nauseous. I was picky with what sounded good to eat, but I could eat smaller meals and I felt fine. I was excited in my secret, giggling with family and my best friends. I decided I wasn’t going to believe everything they told me, because I was already experiencing something different, answered prayers for no nausea, no sickness.

I began at this point to stop thinking of the M word and just to pray. I was referred by two Godly mamas to a book called Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. It’s not for the faint of heart, but if you’ve seen God do miracles in front of your eyes, you can handle this book. Basically if you’re been scuba diving with Jesus and you’ve read the book of Acts and thought “I believe it,” then Supernatural Childbirth won’t sound crazy.

I began to pray for a pain free childbirth with no complications, no tearing, no prematurity, no hemorrhage. I prayed for 100%. Not 90, or 85, but the full birth miracle package. Why not, right?! It’s Jesus, for Christ’s sake. By the time we announced the pregnancy, both Buddy and I were sold out on a supernatural birth. I got really quiet about this, because it sounded crazy banana sandwich. Also, I didn’t want people who didn’t have that experience to feel like I thought I deserved something they didn’t have. I didn’t want to invalidate their trauma, especially if part of their healing was to share their story. Even if it was a terrifying, unique story that would clearly cause fear to a first time mom! I learned to listen with a filter.

Every time I got “advice” about pain or complications, I rebuked it in my head haha, like someone had just spoken death over me. I thought “that’s not my story.” My thoughts stayed the course, believe it or not. I trained my mind for war. Birth was gonna be my victory, my Jericho, my Valley of Berakah. I recited and memorized birth affirmations. I told my body it knew how to birth, and that birth was a normal thing, a common rite of passage designed by God, who is kind. He designed sex and birth. I signed up for both and thanked Him.

We decided that the birth would be very private, and chose a Godly, wonderful doula to be with us (Buddy and I only, aside from birth staff). We chose Atlanta Birth Center as our birth location and prenatal care provider. We chose a midwifery model of care. We did minimal testing, aside from gender DNA (I was way too curious). We only had one ultrasound at 20 weeks, and no cervical checks before labor began. No family in the waiting room, no immediate visits. We safeguarded that space for rest and recovery.

I can say now that pregnancy was wonderful. I was healthy. I had a virus that made me achy for 4 days, but that was it. I had to learn how to SLOW DOWN in the end, lest I’d hurt myself trying to get up too fast. I didn’t swell, nor had back pain. I slept well, even with the frequent bathroom trips. I wore my rings until it was the day to have the baby. I gained about 17 pounds, no diabetes. Baby was head down when she needed to be, my placenta was not in the way. All those answered prayers!

I prayed for supernatural birth. God’s answer, though not exactly as I asked, was even better. Here comes part 2!

Ebb and Flow

Life has been vibrant and wonderful. I’ve been trying to understand what Jesus meant by “fullness of life” and not get it twisted with “obligation of life” or “busyness of life” or any other kind of misconception of the meaning of FULLNESS.

My walk with God has gone through natural periods of ebbing and flowing, increase and decrease, like breathing. Times when I feel very full indeed, and times when the only normal thing to do is empty out. Open-handed. Clean slate. Reset, please.

God has been stirring my heart to increase praise capacity. It’s the praising “more and more” like scripture calls it. The praise from yesterday is no longer a measure for today. Just like His mercies are new, so are praises and thankful expressions of my heart. I get excited when I hear a new song that resonates with where I am in Him, a lyric that “reads my mail” if you know what I mean. And sometimes the only way you can understand how you feel is when you hear it in a song, and go “THAT is exactly what’s going on” and you find on the outside what you couldn’t identify on the inside, just by the way your heart jumped out toward it.

compassI started the year fired up to empty out, and I did. Then I felt the need to press pause and just watch for a minute. It’s pointless to operate on old orders, by the way. God is doing new things all the time, and there are some of us that are so obedient that we get busy “obeying” and forget to TALK to Him. We’ve got our heads down obeying what He told us years ago, when He may have something new to say today. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever, but you better believe He is a God of restoration, redemption, and redirection. He’s a rebuilder. Obedience is a lovely thing, but it’s like a liquid. It needs to flow and conform to His leading, and not be so obstinate as to miss the turn on the road and keep going the wrong way for miles or years.

My new orders are to fill up. I ordered 10 books today. No joke. I got 2 textbooks for my birthday, and 4 books for Christmas. My brain and my heart just want to learn. I’m learning about the ways of God, and also about transfusion medicine and genetics, which in my opinion are altogether hilariously laced with gospel paradigms. I’ve been studying for a certification exam, and praying for God to open doors. I am hoping that after this season of filling up, a brand new outpouring will follow.

Just wanted to give you an update of what I’ve been doing now that I’ve been off the grid a bit more. I’m extremely happy. I’m increasing in praise. I’m filling up, focusing on the fullness of life. I am pressing pause on a few things I’ve been doing, so that I can adjust to God’s leading in my life, and in all things, He is good.


Sometimes it feels like I’m chasing after something I may never fully grasp. Maybe it’s the planner in me, or the drive to grow and improve, right?

 My eyesight is pretty bad on both eyes, and it could very well be from squinting to the future so much with the eyes of my heart. Is it possible to be content and just stay there? Must I always strive so much? These are questions I ask the Lord and I feel His peace rest over me like a cloud. I am mostly cloudy with a chance of thunder.

The worst is when my striving breaks, and I sit with no drive. It’s the feeling of eating without tasting, when your nose is congested. Where did all that flavor go? Will I even want it when it happens to me? The passing of the test, the promotion, the loud home? It’s as if God flipped the switch of my dreams to OFF. I wrestle with apathy and doubt. I start sounding a lot like Bohemian Rhapsody with my anywhere the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me. And it isn’t true. It does matter. I know deep in my heart of the promises of God. I know. I know. I know. I realize. God put books and lessons and love in my heart, and it’s my joy to live to unveil them. There are faces I have never met which will absolutely melt me and propel me to heights of love I haven’t dared to imagine yet. Yet.

I’m learning to yield over and over to the higher ways of God. He knows better than I do. I’ve been warding off any bitterness, any hopelessness, and any fear. It’s been like killing mosquitoes in Tanzania. They’re practically robots, but I do have the shoe. Sometimes they get me, and it swells, and bothers me so. It’s just a reminder that I have something they want. If my dreams weren’t so precious, they wouldn’t be dreams at all. They’d be like a grocery list, attainable and predictable. I get to depend solely on the Lord. He is in full control, even when I dare to think others are. I will not barter with fear. I will not go down that narrow, dark alley of despair. My emotions get to take a knee to a Breathing, Undefeated King. It’s my turn to embrace complete humility, gentleness, and patience.



As you all know, the #ATLdevo began back in September of 2014, and ran until about August 2015. Every single day, I made it a discipline to write what I was learning with Jesus, and posted it ONLINE, and not only that, but delivered every morning to the inboxes of 80+ people. NO PRESSURE!


The feedback was incredible. Just incredible. Let me quote some of the emails/texts/messages I’ve gotten throughout this year of writing…

“We, your devo followers, are so thankful you said yes. I know you’re growing from it and it’s a big encouragement.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for your obedience in doing this devotional. This devotional continues to raise me out of so many heart-heavy situations.”

“I look forward to these devotions every day! Thank you for your heart! It is making a difference in my life! Thank you for your obedience!”

“Oh my goodness, you don’t know how your messages speak to me. The last couple of ones I find myself crying and asking God for more of Him!”

“Very thankful for your ministry here. It’s been too long since I journaled about the goodness of the Father and too long since I’ve been still and quiet early in the day. Love the prompts as well! Keep serving faithfully as you are!”

“Thank you for your inspiration and interaction with daily verses and uplifting words. Your obedience to God is one of the many gifts He’s given. You are a treasure to those of us receiving them.”

“Thank you for your daily devotionals. Really great stuff and God inspired.”

“I have been going back and reading the Phylla House devos: SO GOOD! I might use them next year for my class :D”

“Thank you Helena, for allowing God to use you in our lives! Today’s devo… it was exactly what I needed.”

“Your devos are amazing and I can hear your voice as I read them! So great! Thank you for blessing me and so many others with them already!!!”

These are quotes in reaction to the devos I wrote in 2014 to 2015. I picked 100 of those devotionals and published them in a book! You can buy that book here!


Why am I charging for this book? Well… I have 80+ people who got it for free, one page at a time, via email and reading the Phylla House blog where the devos were originally hosted. The subscribers actually got more than that, because some of the devotionals didn’t make it into the book. After that, I prayed hard and pulled the devos from the blog, edited them fiercely, and published them in tangible form.

The cool announcement is that I’M DOING IT AGAIN!!! Fresh devos, page by page, delivered to your inbox, free as birds, imperfect  probably, full of late-night/early-morning Love.  You can subscribe to the Phylla House blog and see it unveil one page at a time, as God teaches me over the next year. How does that sound?

And then, God willing, at the end of 2016, I’ll revise the devos and publish them in book form once more, in time for you to gift them to your friends and family, having “already read it” if you know what I mean 😉

I hope you’ll come along with me.

The journey starts again on January 6th, 2016.

Much love,


Started From The Bottom Now We Here

We look at stories of people who started from scratch, and we admire them so.

Self-starters! Visionaries! The world applauds their determination to succeed against all odds, and honestly, I can relate a little bit. When I moved to America, we sure didn’t have much. When I first filed my FAFSA, which is the form you fill out for college financial aid, the government expected my family to be able to contribute $0 to my college expenses. That was accurate. I studied and I worked, received scholarships and grants, and a few loans. I came out with an honors diploma. Cue celebratory rap song.


Not only do we celebrate this kind of hard path, we look down on the other one… you know… when people are given stuff by their parents. We call them spoiled. We question their appreciation for what they have, because well… they didn’t “earn” it, but instead they were given these things. And we judge them. We judge them, even though they have to steward what they’re given with the same amount of responsibility as anybody else who comes to own those belongings. When you own a car, whether you bought it or not, you have to take care of it. You still have to understand what you have, and know how to manage it. And if you don’t manage it well, soon enough you’ll be a pedestrian again, right?

The world makes life about “earning” stuff. People both ignore and celebrate the orphans who have no parents and no inheritance… the orphans of the orphans of the orphans…. and all the while, all those orphans want to build is an inheritance. They want to build security for themselves and for the next generation. They ultimately hope that their kid will be judged and spoiled, a child who has an inheritance, who has an easier path… a child who doesn’t have to start from the bottom of the pit and claw their way up.

We should take a long, hard look at our theology, then, if we judge the children of families and we admire the disadvantaged, but only when they manage to break the mold. We judge the disadvantaged when they fill our prisons, when they prostitute themselves, and when they become addicted. We don’t celebrate their predictable outcomes, do we? We don’t take even a moment to pity them, to put ourselves in their shoes, to adopt them, or to visit them and tell them of a Family they can belong to. I promise you it’s the most humbling thing to befriend a prostitute and hug them, and tell them how worthy they are of love. I promise it’s life-changing to go to a prison and look into the eyes of the condemned, and tell them about a Guy who did away with condemnation. That’s the kind of thing, though, that only children of God can do. No self-starters get these kinds of perks. We have to lay ourselves down to become His children. And then He begins to blow our minds with what it looks like to belong to Him.

All this hit me while I was thinking about inheritance. What does it look like to have God as my Father, truly? What does it look like to steward the inheritance He gives me, aka gifts I DID NOT HAVE TO EARN?! I have so many of those, you guys. It’s ridiculous. And the funny thing is that I TOTALLY DESERVE THESE THINGS. You read that right. It’s no typo.

I deserve what the Father gives me because I’m His kid. You ever give your kid an ice cream cone and send them on a whole “I DO NOT DESERVE YOUR LOVE VIA ICE CREAM CONE!” rant? Nope. Not even a little bit. Kids will just say yes and more, and happily dig into it. And are we not called to be childlike? I think this is what it is. To stop beating ourselves up with the gospel of false humility, to stop questioning so much that we are worthy of His love, because obviously we are worth dying over and He says we belong to Him. We are so very worthy, in ways we may never understand, but that’s okay. We are loved and we are His. And because of that, we have an inheritance, and we deserve one. Once we get over these things, we can move on to thinking of how in the WORLD we’ll actually steward this thing properly.

What does it look like to open our hands and say “Okay, let’s do this” and accept something bigger than ourselves, given to us to love and take care of? I’m learning.

I’m learning how to steward hearts. Jesus gave me keys to a whole bunch of hearts. I have access to the deep parts of so many people. It’s like a counselor and a friend and a sister, all mashed up into one. I have keys like that. I get to love so many women, truly love them. I get calls and texts and messages from total strangers, and once we get on the phone, I ask “Okay, how did you hear about me?!” and hear their various responses. Then I hear their hearts. I hear bits of their stories. I ask how I can serve them. I give them my best gold nuggets of wisdom, unafraid of their reactions haha. And I am blessed, BLESSED to get to pray with them. Sometimes we walk through inner healing. Sometimes they forgive people while on the phone with me! Can you just imagine that kind of breakthrough! Tears, y’all. Lies coming off. Trust issues addressed. Anger shoved aside. Prophecy and revelation for their lives. THEIR HEARTS ARE TREASURES and I get to step into them! The honor is heavenly. If you want to get a call, you know you better just ask right now!

I’m learning how to love deep and wide the man of God in my life. He’s a TREASURE. We’ve both had birthdays in the past couple of weeks, and it was the sweetest thing to plan a fun date and buy him gifts, and receive his sweet gifts. He gives great gifts, just like his Father in Heaven.

What got m1240504_10101870265764450_579034297_ne on this inheritance roll, though, was this season of graduation of my first year of ministry school, and the opportunity I’ve been given to step into leadership of a nonprofit widows and orphans ministry. I get to be their Executive Director, and they’ve been going as a nonprofit for 7 years. That’s a huge inheritance, fam. I see God honoring my faithfulness to step into a learning season, and then giving me this giant graduation present of loving on Ugandan widows and orphans and reminding them how incredibly WORTHY they are. They are His Pearls, and my new sisters and jjajjas and kiddos. I have so much family now, and I love them. It blows my mind that Jesus trusts me with them, but He totally does. He’s like “SURPRISE!!” and His face is so full of excitement, and His eyes dance over me, watching my joy rise to meet His, my awareness coming in to fully absorb the fresh heavenly reality of a new piece of my inheritance. I had left a piece of my heart in Uganda, and now I realize it was a seed. It has grown!

And I forgot all about my orphan days. I forgot that I started from the bottom, and now I’m here. I forgot that I put in any kind of work, because my Father is the best Father, and He gives me extravagant gifts, like hearts and sunrises and nations. He walks me across bridges I’ve never been, and tells me secrets. He takes me up high on hot-air balloon rides, and to exquisite gardens. He clothes me with dignity and strength. And I tell you, I promise you, I never ever have to work for this kind of inheritance. Not for a minute do I need to worry, or labor, or behave as to earn anything. It just is mine because I have the Family name.  And it’s yours, I tell you.

On the sidenote of service: knowing who you are in Christ makes you better at serving, because it revolutionizes service. Jesus was King AND washed feet. He did it from utmost royalty, even the most humble of acts of love. That…… that’s the example. That’s not a self-starter, but a servant-hearted Son. Nothing was beneath Him. He didn’t HAVE to, but chose to. He could look people in the eyes and truly love them. That’s the heritage of a really really good Father.

What has He given you? With what piece of the Kingdom have you been entrusted?

Don’t buy the lie for a second that you have to build it yourself, earn it yourself, or keep it yourself. You can work hard, you can appreciate, and you can steward, but you too will forget that you ever started from the bottom.  You know how to receive and how to give. You know how to release gifts back to the Father, and know He’s trustworthy to keep them for you. You are His beloved. You are His chosen. You are favored. Oh, and you are trustworthy with the treasures that are most precious to the Father’s heart.

Calming Down in 7 Steps

For the sake of reminiscing and reviewing God’s work in my life, sometimes I look back to the past. There are instances when I’m thankful and in a good place to do this. I wind up writing warrior blogs and high-fiving strangers, whooping and hollering “Shekinah Glory” and doing movements with my hips. This is somewhat normal for me.

Sometimes that is not the case… and maybe you can relate.  I look back, cringe, facepalm, and listen to emo music. No no no no no. And the emotions flood and confusion flares, as regret and shame invade like gremlins coming out of the sink and toilet. Good visual? I thought so.

I think it’s somewhat normal for us all, human people, to have times when our emotions flood. How we handle ourselves in those times is really important. There’s always room to grow and improve. We have to be humble enough to admit that we are works in progress. I wanted to share what helps me, and I’d love to hear your suggestions and what you’ve learned about how to come back from an emotional mood.

In times like these, this is what I do to regain control without suppressing my emotions:

1) I count my blessings. Yes, the thankful game. Jesus, I’m thankful that my hair feels really soft right now. Thanks for my new glasses. Thanks that I have a job. Thanks for my sweet coworkers who truly care about me. Thanks for Twitter and for subtweets of utmost cuteness. It’s hard to lose footing when we stand on gratitude.

2) I declare the facts. I am someone who makes good decisions. I am someone who does things right the first time around, to the best of my ability. My actions and my character align. I am responsible and able. I am thoughtful and loving. I am accountable. I trust who I was in the past to have made the best decisions I could have made with the amount of wisdom I had at the time. I forgive myself for any poor outcomes of my decisions made with good intentions and good faith. See how good these facts are? Freedom facts. Truth helps out a lot. You’re probably not a jerk.

3) I inventory my emotions. What am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling like this? How do I actually feel about the big picture? Are any of these emotions valid or am I caught up in a flurry of emotion, dramatically building an ice castle with all my pent-up feelings? Am I Queen Elsa? These are all important questions to ask oneself.

4) I align my emotions with the facts. Sometimes this looks a lot like listing out what went wrong in the past, and my role in it, and asking Jesus where He stood in the situation. Most of the time, I figure out that I need to forgive people again. And again. My emotions go haywire sometimes because I hit a new layer of unforgiveness that was hidden deep. It happens, and it means I’m growing.

5) I forgive out loud. Jesus, I forgive so-and-so for what they did. Surely they didn’t intend to cause such a mess in my life. And if they intended to do that, Jesus, You do Your thing and You deal with them how You see fit. I hand them over to You. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, right Lord? I receive that promise.

6) I put things back where they go. Okay, it’s time to put the past back in the past. I am a different person now. I have new people in my life who love me well and encourage me. I have great friends and family. I have learned much from the faceplants and mistakes of the past. I am not caught in a cycle, because these things go in the past. I have no regret that goes unredeemed. Jesus is King and my past is behind me.

7) I redirect my thoughts. Now, I will think about _______. Find something wholesome to think about and think about it. If you’re drawing a blank, think about a river. Rivers are cool and usually safe to think about, yeah? Or the ocean? Mountains? Just go somewhere scenic, like Pride and Prejudice, and escape to a green cliff, with beautiful crescendos as the breeze lightly touches your face. Boom. Way to regain your brain.

Afterwards, I usually find myself breathing and smiling. I get back to being giddy and excited about what is real and true. I’ve had to make a lot of comebacks from flurrytown, so I hope this helps you when you’re in a frenzy and you’re caught up there. This is how I calm down from a disastrous lookback. I pray for emotional maturity for you. May the peace of Christ guard your mind. He says great things of us. He is proud of us. As we learn to align with His mind, we take back all that the enemy stole.

If you’re struggling emotionally or in your thought life and want extra prayer, I would love to be praying for you. Feel free to contact me on the ‘Contact Me’ tab, or you can leave a comment below if you don’t mind others seeing it.

Much love,


Take Authority

According to the Strengths Finder test, my top strength is POSITIVITY. I scored 100% on that one. I can tell you why: I am borderline delusional in faith.

I think that’s what Jesus asks of us half the time, though, right? To count it all joy? To be thankful in every circumstance? To have faith to see the unseen things? To hunt for shapes in the clouds and strain our eyes to see if this just might be the most glorious sunset or sunrise yet? Because it truly truly could be, right? It could be my last one, for all I know.


So I have endured quite a few ridiculous parts of life, where most people would have just found a bridge to jump from, and I found myself grasping, white-knuckled, rigor mortis- style to JOY. I made jokes in the middle of terrible things. I laughed at things that weren’t even funny. When Satan would torment me, and I mean TORMENT me with songs, words, names, memories, every kind of thing he could get to remind me of PAIN, I would snicker and think that it was a funny coincidence and start talking to Jesus. I went through things people get depression from, and take medicine for, and I never once thought my life was hopeless. Not one time. That, my friends, is a miracle of joy. Joy was and still is my strength. Or as the Strengths Finder calls it, positivity.

I gotta admit I became somewhat ridiculous in the process. I am often misunderstood. I sometimes say the completely wrong thing, and make a joke at inappropriate times. The world does not get me, or laugh with me. It never will. I am still tenderhearted, and goofy, and brave. I still stick out my neck for people and give give give. I am not consumed with bitterness or entitlement. I am not walking around expecting the worst of people, although it does take me longer to trust people. I am rich rich rich, even though I am still working through paying off my debts, even though I don’t have medical insurance (yet), and even though the world says I am poor and I have nothing. That is a lie, and I do not need the world to acknowledge just how loaded I am.


my treasures are even cooler than ice castles

Jesus says I am blessed, and if you’re in my boat, you are blessed.
When we have nothing here, you can be sure that He is our inheritance, because we are worshipers and ministers of God. I challenge you to take authority to declare over yourself that you are rich and blessed, because even if you are poor or broken in spirit, Jesus declares you blessed. You cannot yet see the crowns and the treasures laid aside for you in heaven, because if you could glimpse the richness of His presence, the lavish nature of the Creator, you would not walk in a spirit of poverty. Walking in that kind of faithlessness is not walking in a matter worthy of the calling you have received. Take authority.

Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?
{James 2:5}

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
{Matthew 5:3}

“I am to be the only inheritance the priests have. You are to give them no possession in Israel; I will be their possession.”
{Ezekiel 44:28}

You have the authority to walk in such a confidence, with your head held high and a smile on your face. Bathe yourself in the truth of scripture. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Take authority.

Jesus says I am rested and I have peace, and if you’re in my boat, you are rested and you have peace. When you are tired and exhausted here, you can be sure that He is carrying you and opening His arms toward you, and if you are always tired or stressed, something is wrong. If JESUS SAYS that He gives you rest if you come to Him, and He does not lie, then you are either not coming to Him AT ALL or not coming to Him ENOUGH. It is a promise you are not taking authority of, and you are shorting yourself of the promised rest of having no burdens, and walking in His righteousness.

I saw myself becoming WEARY of doing good, and it was such a red flag to me that I am not resting in the presence of God enough. You better believe I am taking authority over this, and binding myself to the Word of God and His promises. I am well-rested. I do not complain of the promises I fail to take authority over, but instead I take authority over the rest I am promised in Christ.  He says “if you want it, come and get it, for crying out loud.” Otherwise, we cease to stand out, cease to shine like the stars, fitting in with the tired, weary, Jesus-less crowd. They have no rest. We have Jesus and do not fit in with them, because we have holy rest. Take authority to stand out.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
{Matthew 11:28}

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.
{Philippians 2:14-15}

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
{Galatians 6:9}

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
{Psalm 55:22}

Jesus says I get what I want, and if you’re in my boat you get what you want. If you don’t know what you want, it stinks to be you, because you can’t ask for it and get it. For those who know what they want, they get what they want. Jesus is FOR YOU and not against you. He loves you and He delights in you. If you want something for the wrong reasons, you’re not gonna get it. If you want something outside of His timing, you’re not gonna get it. BUT (oh the sweetness) if you want something that aligns with His perfect will, which you are taught to discern and desire, you get what you want. It’s what He wants too. And He’s pleased as punch that you asked, because YES is one of His favorite words to sing over you. Are you listening?

6The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.
{Zephaniah 3:17}

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
{James 4:1-3}

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
{John 16:24}

God moved in me today to admonish His people about being joyful, blessed, rich, rested, and getting what they want. He desires to have His children come to Him, comfortably, because He is a sweet Father. He wants praises on our lips about how GOOD He is to us, and the GOOD gifts He gives to us. Even in the middle, when we don’t have all the answers, He says “praise Me anyway” and He speaks all the answers over us as we do come to Him. He does not tempt us or withhold from us. He is kind to us even in the waiting.

He has called me to reach for your hand with my words and declare God’s healing over you. Do not harden your heart. Engage in God’s presence and He will show you how to love and how to take authority. Do not starve yourself when the feast is ready for you. Repent if you have been hardhearted and have not been walking in faith and love. Just turn around, redirect, take hold of His promises. Take authority.