Asking for the Best

In the past, when asking God for something, I had a tendency of asking for what I thought was feasible. I’d ask in the realm of possible. I don’t think I doubted God’s ability to give, but I lacked the faith to ask.

Along with asking small, I wasn’t picky. I thought generic could work for me. Take for example a laptop. I asked God for “a” laptop, and it was any laptop. Old, new, whatever, anything. My old one had died, and I needed something.

I walked around Best Buy and Walmart, and I browsed and looked at prices. I looked to see if the cheapest computer was any good. And can I just say it bluntly? What junk. What junk pattern of thinking is that?! Who taught me this? Not Jesus. Not Jesus at all.

As I sat in ministry class, we talked about the poverty spirit, the orphan spirit, etc, and all the ways of thinking that are really spirits, that influence the way we make decisions. I felt called out. I thought I somehow deserved the crappiest computer on the shelf, that it was all I could afford, and that it would do for me.

Untrue. And if you go through your whole life choosing the stuff with the least quality, you’ll realize that this decision-making is contagious. You pick a crappy job, crappy relationships, crappy food, crappy habits, crappy friends, and just everything is CRAPPY. I’M SAYING CRAPPY A LOT! SORRY! BUT ALSO NOT SORRY! Soon enough you’ll look around and see that you don’t like anything you have, but that you make these choices.

If you went to a new restaurant and you go through the menu, how many of you look at the prices instead of the food? Then you choose from the prices what you will eat? Sometimes you’ll order something just because it’s the cheapest thing. Same with clothing, going straight to the sales rack. I am all for a good bargain, but there is something to be said about the inherent quality of a thing that makes it worth its cost.

Look at your life and look at what is leading your decisions. By all means, live within your means, but watch the patterns and don’t strip everything of what it’s worth.

I’m a writer. I’m working on a book right now. I’m making huge plans and directing a ministry. I needed a computer that could keep up with what I’m doing. I had received a great little laptop from one of the kindest people on the planet, but it was password-protected and I was waiting to take it to my brother so he could try to hack into it. I still had no means to write aside from my tablet. It was frustrating.

I decided to ask Kevin for his opinion, if he could have any laptop, regardless of cost, what he’d choose. He said a MacBook Pro.

What did I do? I said a crazy prayer! I asked Jesus for a MacBook Pro. Which is crazy, because I don’t even use Apple computers, much less have it in the bank to go for one of those.

If you venture one wild guess as to what computer I am using now and calling my own: a MacBook Pro.

God provided one through one of my besties. And now I have one.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!

 

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So ask for good things. Ask for good things. ASK FOR THE BEST. Ask for what the quality of the things you need.

Don’t ask from a materialistic heart. Don’t ask and then doubt it. And don’t forget to be surrounded by prayer, asking others in the Body of Christ to be in prayer with you… odds are they might be the vessels of your blessing. No kidding.

God was faithful to meet my needs, and He did it in an extravagant way, rather than the generic way I was used to binding Him into with my shallow prayers.

That’s just a small tiny sliver of how He’s going above and beyond for me. By no means a prosperity gospel, just a shocking glimpse of a Generous King who calls Himself my Father.

I pray it encourages you to push into an ‘above and beyond’ relationship with God, asking Him for what He wants to give you instead of what you may think you deserve.

May He do exceedingly more than you asked for or imagined, which is His nature.

May He guide your dreams with the royal quality of His affirmation and provision.

Sleepless in Rio

Yep, it’s one of those nights where I am in evangelist mode and I also cannot stop looking up animal memes. Oh and I can’t sleep.

I found this cat, which I would date if I were a cat.

catomg

I also almost sent an email I would have regretted sending, but thankfully I had a voice of reason come and interrupt me like…

voiceofreason

Crisis averted. Phew.

Now I sit here, smiling, half in and half out of consciousness. I know that God is funny and awesome and perfect. He has the best plan, which sometimes doesn’t include sleep for me. Instead, He lets me speak to the heart of His children, and to tell them that they’re loved beyond measure, and watch such a revelation cause a ripple. Grace always causes a ripple. I am watching it go, go, go. It is SO lovely.

We like to add and subtract. We think the works we do with our hands either add or subtract. Jesus multiplies exponentially. He’s a multiplication God. I don’t think we can ever fathom how far He carries the littlest offerings we bring to Him. We are making impacts that you would not believe. His Kingdom is coming so much faster than we realize. Come, Lord Jesus.

Being here in Brazil has made me stand up into the truth I already knew about myself and about beauty. What makes me beautiful isn’t my hair, or eyes, or anything at all that is seen on the outside. My beauty is the gentle, courageous Flame of Love that burns within me, and makes me glow from the inside. It’s a joy people can’t quite pinpoint, but it’s so evident.

People want my Flame without even knowing what they want. They seriously approach me here on the street and tell me that I’m beautiful. It’s the most bizarre thing. I stand there awkwardly, thanking them, while they say “you are TOO beautiful, you are like a doll, what are these eyes, oh my God” and I just stand there. This has happened a few times already. Apparently I have been upgraded to ‘stop me on the street‘ pretty, and I did not get the memo. Something tells me they’re not seeing the outside of me, and I’m relieved by that revelation.

God is doing something with me that I cannot explain. It’s like the Christmas tree when it is alright in the daytime, but it was MADE to glow in that low light, when the lights get plugged in and they start to twinkle. I AM TWINKLING! He upped it a notch, and I’m not quite sure why or what’s going on, but I PROMISE I haven’t done anything different than I have been doing in a long time, and now I am seeing SO MUCH FRUIT.

Every single day, I have new stories. Jesus has put me on the fast lane, and I’m taking it all in. I’m sleepless in Rio, just in awe of the Lord. I’m gonna train leaders as a priority. God pressed it on my heart again today. I’m gonna commission people to do specific ministry with me. And if you’re reading this and you’ve been patiently waiting for me to train you, THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH ME.

After this training takes place, I’m gonna start writing my first book. The Lord also confirmed my call to California a few times here during my vacation, so that’s still very much the ultimate plan.

It’s like 5am here, and I must must must try to sleep.

Here’s to a random, unedited blog, and holy insomnia, eh? Mwah.

rio1

May May May

May is tomorrow. Oh dear Lord.

jtmay

Best seasonal meme out there, kids.

April FLEW by. Sometimes it crawled, sometimes it was excruciating, but good Lord, we made it. It’s gonna be MAY!!!

I learned so much this month, yall. I only write because I know you actually read this stuff, and you CARE and you find yourselves nodding along to what God is showing me. Thank you for that.

I already shared about capacity, and that cycle I found myself in. I shared about God breaking me out of my expectations and making me thankful all over again.

There was a 24-hour Burn at Adventures, where we worshiped for 24 hours straight. I was there from about 9 pm til noon the next morning. I have pages and pages of things the Lord was showing me. He had me prophesy over my children, and that was intense. He had me prophesy over ten nations, some of which I have yet to go to… but now I know that I will haha. He showed me that He’s gonna move me and we are leaving some clutter behind, because it’s not needed where I’m going. Hello, light packing. He’s also confirmed a lot about my heart, through various methods. “Sway with me, rest in me” and that’s what I’m doing. It is good good good.

This month, Phylla House did a Psalms Challenge. We read through all 150 Psalms, 5 a day x 30 days. Today, being the last day, I’d like to share a psalm I wrote on a receipt at a coffee shop. Sometimes I like to tie in what an item means to me in the physical realm with the spiritual realm. In this case, it was a receipt. Here’s what He taught me in that…

 

My Receipt Psalm ❤

20140430_121009O Sovereign Father,
You took Your time when
You made my hands.
Small and fragile, tender
things that sin against
You, that hold on with
an iron grip to the lesser,
to the toy steering wheel.
I offer them to You.
Take my hands and open
them toward You. Strengthen

them. Discipline them.
Then, Father, in Your
timing, trust them with
holy blessings. To have
and to hold, to nurture,
to keep safe. I declare
my receipt of Your Holy
Inheritance, the fullness of
the Spirit filling me, Your
abundant life replacing my
death. I dwell in Your house.
I breathe in Your presence, Your
joy. Grace pours down onto my
head, my robe–white. Fulfill your
purposes, Lord. I agree. I receive.

20140430_125055I had a heartsync with the amazing Bri Rene, and let go of even more that was holding me back. I was holding on to judgments, false perceptions, and I believed a part of myself to be incredibly weak, when in actuality, that part of myself is a giant. God sees towering strength where I see weakness. Interesting, huh? I was proven dead wrong. The pessimist that used to indwell my emotions got a big fat slap in the face, and an eviction notice. I was afraid that I wasn’t loved, for whatever reason. I realized that I had more doubt than trust, more fear than courage, more damage than wholeness… or at least that’s what I was agreeing to. False… I am so loved. I am so loved. I am whole, trusting, loving, and bold. I confessed and repented of fear that clouded and hindered good things. I felt a lightness and a freedom of not being burdened with negativity or with the past. The cynic who expected failure and abandonment had to leave. It vacated out, making room for more bold love.

God did some spring cleaning in me.

For my goals update:
Reading: I finished none of the 3 books I am reading. I actually started reading two more. And I bought a new Study Bible, so I may never finish another book again haha. Oh well!

Running: I ran my mileage 🙂 Last night I timed my mile, and sure enough, got it under 8 minutes again, like a sprightly spring chicken. Now I just have to pick a race in May and go for it… trick will be finding one on a weekend I’m off work.

Cooking: I did cook more. I guess that was the goal haha.

Prophecy: My Teo Jasmin puppy journal is uber full of new revelations, so I am very well-pleased with how that went. Also, on that note, I had a word for a complete stranger and it was spot on. She is now my friend.

Encouragement: I changed my mind and started texting words of encouragement. I’ve done over 30, so I think that’s a check!

May Goals::

1) Setting up an editorial calendar for the Phylla House website… that means I get an actual posting schedule going and stick with it.

2) Spend more time in hammocks.

3) No more soda for a month. Oh my gosh that’s hard. I’ll be chugging Pepsi today, which completely negates the point.

pepsi

When I prayed for Pepsi in Tanzania, God always answered.

4) Share what I’m hearing/learning on a daily basis.

5) Giving away MORE clothing… I just took 3 bags, but I’m being challenged to give more. If I haven’t worn it in a year, it’s going to the thrift store. I survived with a backpack for a year, so in that… simplify!

What did you learn in April? Do you have 5 goals for May? What is your opinion of hipster kitten?

hipsterkitten

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